Have you noticed that when Geese migrate in V formation, one line is always longer that the other? Do you Know why? There's more Geese in it.
How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't, you get down off a duck.
A burglar crept into a dark house and as he crossed the room he heard a voice say, "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!" He froze in his tracks and waited. He started walking again, and again the voice came "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU". Finally the burglar's eyes adjusted to the dark and with great relief he saw a parrot in a cage in the corner. "What's your name," he asked the parrot. "Bonzo" said the parrot. "Who gave you that stupid name" sneered the burglar. The parrot replied, "The same guy who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
Thanks.
P.S. What d'you get when you cross a bird with a comedian? Jay Leno.
Which bird is Ashley Young most like? A Great-Northern Diver.
Two turkey vultures were preparing to migrate north for the summer but, after talking about it, they decided they were too old to fly all that way, so they decided to take a plane. When they were about to board the aircraft, the flight attendant, noticing that both vultures were carrying a dead armadillo, asked, "Would you like to check those armadillos through as luggage?" "No thanks," the vultures replied, "they're carrion."
How can you tell if a lapwing is a Lapwing? Talk to it, if it replies it's a Sociable Lapwing.