It has been reported that a Dr Darvic has identified a spate of an ailment previously unknown among GM birders, 'Barnacle Ring', producing the inability to remain seated at work. It has only previously been known to occur in northerly latitudes, in the UK having been mostly known in the west of Scotland and Solway region. Similar symptoms have been known in the Belmont and Knowsley areas and on occasion in Greater Manchester but only in connection to outbreaks from production under controlled conditions.
-- Edited by dave broome on Friday 11th of October 2013 04:52:04 PM
Glad to hear that you have made a full recovery, Bill from the physical symptoms anyway...
I've had a few reports recently from the BTO (Birders' Treatment Organisation) about a newly-identified neurological syndrome, provisionally called OSGO - Ordnance Survey Grid Obsession.
I'm hope that you'll never suffer from this, Bill. They think it will take years to find a cure
Medical Journal 'The Lancet' has a summary by Dr Ashworth-Moore, of a study in to medical complaints which may be affecting GM Birders:
Atlas Digit: A particular form of Repetitive Strain Injury, identified by Dr G.M. Baird-Atlas. This has become prevalent over the past four years. It is intrinsically linked to an illness studied by researchers at Myerscough College in Lancashire, Myerscough Syndrome, in which the sufferer has an uncontrollable urge to wander at will over their home county, with altered spatial awareness that limits the sufferer in such a way that they can only relate to their location in terms of Ordnance Survey tetrads
Hi Dave,
I first read of this worrying ailment whilst enjoying a weeks holiday in NU22M. On my return, concerned family and friends rushed me into my local SD90D hospital A.I.C.U (Atlas Intensive Care Unit) for a course of treatment and rehab. Now fully recovered and I'm told with absolutely no chance of a relapse, I would like to thank you for bringing these dangerous early warning signs to my attention. I now feel just about well enough to catch the train this afternoon into SJ89P for a bit of early Christmas shopping. Hope all is well over there in SD50 land?
I actually thought Berry-Berry and the closely related McKerchar Syndrome were forms of Larophilia and resulted in acute sufferers rambling incoherently about oddly-notched P10s and unusually-abraded secondaries. Some folk, obviously beyond hope, have taken to leaving their home county and spending days on end by the banks of the Mersey.
Personally, I'm still being investigated for causes of Irritable Owl Syndrome as first diagnosed by Dr. Myerscough himself
Medical Journal 'The Lancet' has a summary by Dr Ashworth-Moore, of a study in to medical complaints which may be affecting GM Birders:
Atlas Digit: A particular form of Repetitive Strain Injury, identified by Dr G.M. Baird-Atlas. This has become prevalent over the past four years. It is intrinsically linked to an illness studied by researchers at Myerscough College in Lancashire, Myerscough Syndrome, in which the sufferer has an uncontrollable urge to wander at will over their home county, with altered spatial awareness that limits the sufferer in such a way that they can only relate to their location in terms of Ordnance Survey tetrads
Bury-Bury: A viral disease believed to have origins in the exposed mud of a partly-drained reservoir a few years ago. Well-known sufferers have included Elton John and former sports presenter Elton Welsby. Not to be confused with Berry-Berry, in which patients have a fixation with Rowan trees, gathering beneath them in town centres and suburbs
Chat Moss: A skin condition brought about by over-exposure to peat; the related Carrington Moss is similar but does not spread so far, while Ince Moss just involves small pie-shaped markings
Cowdnads Disease: Named by Dr Cowdnads, this circulatory condition is linked with too much time spent on stone-lined reservoirs. It is thought to be the same condition studied in the past, which affected such literary figures as George Bernard Shaw and W H Auden, hence its previous name Auden-Shaw Disease
Mipit Tongue: Typically caused by lengthy spells on moorland, sufferers gaze skywards while gibbering and counting aloud. Recent extreme cases have led to the patient exhibiting these symptoms for several hours at a time, occasionally counting to several thousand
Phragmitosis: Sufferers show an urge to gaze at reedbeds for extended spells, with visions and delusions that they can see Bittern-like shapes in the reed stems. Related to Pengy Fever, in which the sufferer gazes at Willows, in the belief that they can see Long-Eared Owl-like shapes
Raven-ous Gullet: A condition brought about by looking up at town centre roofs. This leads to a permanently distended gullet, which can only be relieved by the ingestion of savoury pastry products. Dutch physician Dr Mank Peregrine has identified a related condition affecting the upper vertebrae, Peregrine Neck
Tipsy Fever: Sufferers display an urge to inhale methane fumes and gather at favoured localities where these may be taken, much like latter day spa towns. Also displayed is a heightened state of perception, with an ability to detect minutiae at distance, for example wing-tips. It has been demonstrated that this is linked with the P10 gene, originating in the Caspian region
Nob End: This is not an acute condition, but merely related to my childish urge to type the name of Greater Manchester's rudest-sounding SSSI
-- Edited by dave broome on Wednesday 16th of November 2011 10:49:30 PM
from the physical symptoms anyway...
