A penguin walks into a bar. He says to the barman "Has my dad been in?" The barman replies "I'm not sure, what does he look like?"
This thread is a real hoot.
Nick Isherwood said
Fri Jun 15 1:22 AM, 2012
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cuck.
Cuckoo!!
Oh dear!!
Rory Newton said
Fri Jun 15 12:57 AM, 2012
Have you noticed that when Geese migrate in V formation, one line is always longer that the other? Do you Know why? There's more Geese in it.
How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't, you get down off a duck.
A burglar crept into a dark house and as he crossed the room he heard a voice say, "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!" He froze in his tracks and waited. He started walking again, and again the voice came "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU". Finally the burglar's eyes adjusted to the dark and with great relief he saw a parrot in a cage in the corner. "What's your name," he asked the parrot. "Bonzo" said the parrot. "Who gave you that stupid name" sneered the burglar. The parrot replied, "The same guy who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
Thanks.
P.S. What d'you get when you cross a bird with a comedian? Jay Leno.
Sean Molloy said
Thu Jun 14 5:35 AM, 2012
Which bird is Ashley Young most like? A Great-Northern Diver.
Two turkey vultures were preparing to migrate north for the summer but, after talking about it, they decided they were too old to fly all that way, so they decided to take a plane. When they were about to board the aircraft, the flight attendant, noticing that both vultures were carrying a dead armadillo, asked, "Would you like to check those armadillos through as luggage?" "No thanks," the vultures replied, "they're carrion."
How can you tell if a lapwing is a Lapwing? Talk to it, if it replies it's a Sociable Lapwing.
Thank you, thank you, i'm here all week.
Dean Macdonald said
Thu Jun 14 4:02 AM, 2012
A cue for my favourite joke... How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven till it's Bill Withers.
Mark Rigby said
Thu Jun 14 3:59 AM, 2012
What's the most common Owl in Britain?
Teet!
Dennis atherton said
Thu Jun 14 3:34 AM, 2012
I thought this could be a little bit of fun. anyone know any good jokes with birds in them. I'll start with this one
Im gonna buy a Parrot and teach it to talk. i want it to say
He says to the barman "Has my dad been in?"
The barman replies "I'm not sure, what does he look like?"
This thread is a real hoot.
Who's there?
Cuck.
Cuckoo!!
Oh dear!!
How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't, you get down off a duck.
A burglar crept into a dark house and as he crossed the room he heard a voice say, "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!" He froze in his tracks and waited. He started walking again, and again the voice came "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU". Finally the burglar's eyes adjusted to the dark and with great relief he saw a parrot in a cage in the corner. "What's your name," he asked the parrot. "Bonzo" said the parrot. "Who gave you that stupid name" sneered the burglar. The parrot replied, "The same guy who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
Thanks.
P.S. What d'you get when you cross a bird with a comedian? Jay Leno.
Two turkey vultures were preparing to migrate north for the summer but, after talking about it, they decided they were too old to fly all that way, so they decided to take a plane.
When they were about to board the aircraft, the flight attendant, noticing that both vultures were carrying a dead armadillo, asked, "Would you like to check those armadillos through as luggage?"
"No thanks," the vultures replied, "they're carrion."
How can you tell if a lapwing is a Lapwing? Talk to it, if it replies it's a Sociable Lapwing.
Thank you, thank you, i'm here all week.
Teet!
Im gonna buy a Parrot and teach it to talk. i want it to say
"Help Me. Ive been turned into a Parrot! "
okay i'll get my coat...